Friday, February 11, 2011

Programming note

Okay, so there will be some new reviews up later today/tonight, but first I've got to get this out.

As I explained in my review of The Smiths, the The Morning After Podcast has got me moderately interested in contemporary porn, so I've front-loaded my queue with 2009-10 productions. Most recently, I received Joanna Angel's Bartenders. I haven't watched it yet because it's four fucking hours long! (Well, 3:58:42 or something, but that's splitting hairs.)

Now, on the one hand, it's impressive that consumers are getting the most bang possible for their buck(s), but holy hell.... It looks like this flick has seven sex scenes, so even accounting for an hour of non-action for plot and dialogue (unlikely), those scenes would average nearly 26 minutes each. How about a little editorial constraint?!? My opinion is this: if a pornographer wants to have half-hour sex scenes, shoot gonzo. Scenes within a narrative should be capped at about 12 minutes (a film-ending orgy sequence or three to four consecutively occurring scenes being cut together could justify 15-18 minutes) for the sake of the flow of the movie. If the inclusion of full scenes is necessary to the dvd, keep them separate as bonus features or something.

I mean, criminy....

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