Four reviews, three A minuses and a B plus. You might think I'm a real pushover, but the fact of the matter is so far I've only reviewed films that I've liked. I suppose I could have curved down so I didn't have a glut of films grading out in the same range, but it doesn't really matter. At the end of the first review, I mentioned the inherent ridiculousness of grading these films. Or at least grading them at the time of the review and without the benefit of hindsight - each new film I see will influence the way I see the rest of my catalog, doubtless. In order to come up with a scale, I'd need to have some standards, but the fact of the matter is, if there's a flawless porn, I've yet to see it. (While I'll eventually review a solid A film, I'm reserving the A plus for that mythical flawless film....)
As long as comparing, say, Ultra Flesh and 3 AM is akin to comparing apples and oranges, my grades will probably stay just as arbitrary. That's not to say, though, that the grades will start to spread out a little. In fact, I've got one unholy turd of a movie that I'm going to review eventually just to show a little range.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Pornonomy Reviews: Fascination
Fascination (1980 - Video-X-Pix)
Directed by:
Larry Revene
Starring:
Arcadia Lake
Candida Royalle
Christie Ford (as Christi Ford)
Patty Boyd (as Josie Jones)
Marlene Willoughby
Merle Michaels
Veronica Hart (as Randee Styles)
Samantha Fox
Sharon Mitchell
Tracy Adams
Adam DeHaven
Eric Edwards
Mike Feline (as Mike Filene)
Ron Hudd
Ron Jeremy
Roy Stuart
In his autobiography, Ron Jeremy said that the wide-eyed, kid in the candy store look his character had amongst the neon of pre-Giuliani Times Square at the beginning of Fascination was easy to achieve – it was exactly the excitement and fervor with which he dove into the New York sex scene of the ‘70s.
In pretty short order, we’re shown that Ernie (Jeremy) is unlucky in love. (Well, sex, anyway.) His “moves” on Sharon Mitchell are interrupted by his parents and sister Victoria (Candida Royalle) coming home, he’s kicked out of an adult theater for trying to force a woman to go down on him (which sounds a lot worse in print than it plays out on screen, honest), and is knocked out and robbed by a tranny hooker. Lucky for him, there’s an add for "The Successful Seducer" in the back of High Society. After the book arrives, Ernie learns that “every man must have a bachelor apartment – or “pad” – in order to score." He’s able to find one from that comes with a nosy landlady with a penchant for peeping and a wisecracking parrot.
You might expect that Ernie’s “conquests” don’t go quite as planned. His first attempt is with a coworker (Arcadia Lake) that is ruined by her husband. His other attempts (including a woman that won’t stop talking – Merle Michaels – and a couple of vicious, sex-crazed lesbians – Samantha Fox and Marlene Willoughby) don’t fare much better. At one point, Ernie’s pad is used by his father to score with his secretary (Mike Feline and Veronica Hart) and his sister and her boyfriend (Ron Hudd) one after the other resulting in a series of “hide in the closet/pantry, someone’s coming” that would make "Three’s Company" proud.
How both the father and sister got into the apartment will be a debate that rages for generations (probably): 1. Ernie’s spare key is hung on his parents’ refrigerator; 2. Under the cover of seeing “what’s for dinner” Victoria sneaks the key replacing it with an impostor; 3. Seconds later, Ernie’s father does the same thing; 4. Ernie’s father and the secretary get to Ernie’s pad before Victoria and her boyfriend. How did Ernie’s father unlock the door with the phony key, I ask you?!? Oh well, I suppose continuity is not a hallmark of pornographic films. (After all, within a minute at one point Veronica calls Ernie her little brother and then Ernie calls Veronica his kid sister….)
It may be strange to call a porno “charming” but that’s the word that comes to mind: Ron Jeremy has a natural charisma, the script was good, the movie well acted and directed. Fascination joins Frat House (and Stiff Competition, which I’ll review eventually) as films I’d screen for people interested in, but inexperienced with, porn from the late ‘70s and early ‘80s. A-
Directed by:
Larry Revene
Starring:
Arcadia Lake
Candida Royalle
Christie Ford (as Christi Ford)
Patty Boyd (as Josie Jones)
Marlene Willoughby
Merle Michaels
Veronica Hart (as Randee Styles)
Samantha Fox
Sharon Mitchell
Tracy Adams
Adam DeHaven
Eric Edwards
Mike Feline (as Mike Filene)
Ron Hudd
Ron Jeremy
Roy Stuart
In his autobiography, Ron Jeremy said that the wide-eyed, kid in the candy store look his character had amongst the neon of pre-Giuliani Times Square at the beginning of Fascination was easy to achieve – it was exactly the excitement and fervor with which he dove into the New York sex scene of the ‘70s.
In pretty short order, we’re shown that Ernie (Jeremy) is unlucky in love. (Well, sex, anyway.) His “moves” on Sharon Mitchell are interrupted by his parents and sister Victoria (Candida Royalle) coming home, he’s kicked out of an adult theater for trying to force a woman to go down on him (which sounds a lot worse in print than it plays out on screen, honest), and is knocked out and robbed by a tranny hooker. Lucky for him, there’s an add for "The Successful Seducer" in the back of High Society. After the book arrives, Ernie learns that “every man must have a bachelor apartment – or “pad” – in order to score." He’s able to find one from that comes with a nosy landlady with a penchant for peeping and a wisecracking parrot.
You might expect that Ernie’s “conquests” don’t go quite as planned. His first attempt is with a coworker (Arcadia Lake) that is ruined by her husband. His other attempts (including a woman that won’t stop talking – Merle Michaels – and a couple of vicious, sex-crazed lesbians – Samantha Fox and Marlene Willoughby) don’t fare much better. At one point, Ernie’s pad is used by his father to score with his secretary (Mike Feline and Veronica Hart) and his sister and her boyfriend (Ron Hudd) one after the other resulting in a series of “hide in the closet/pantry, someone’s coming” that would make "Three’s Company" proud.
How both the father and sister got into the apartment will be a debate that rages for generations (probably): 1. Ernie’s spare key is hung on his parents’ refrigerator; 2. Under the cover of seeing “what’s for dinner” Victoria sneaks the key replacing it with an impostor; 3. Seconds later, Ernie’s father does the same thing; 4. Ernie’s father and the secretary get to Ernie’s pad before Victoria and her boyfriend. How did Ernie’s father unlock the door with the phony key, I ask you?!? Oh well, I suppose continuity is not a hallmark of pornographic films. (After all, within a minute at one point Veronica calls Ernie her little brother and then Ernie calls Veronica his kid sister….)
It may be strange to call a porno “charming” but that’s the word that comes to mind: Ron Jeremy has a natural charisma, the script was good, the movie well acted and directed. Fascination joins Frat House (and Stiff Competition, which I’ll review eventually) as films I’d screen for people interested in, but inexperienced with, porn from the late ‘70s and early ‘80s. A-
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Pornonomy Reviews: Natural Lamporn's Frat House
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Monday, August 17, 2009
A Review Bonanza!
But not today. Or now, anyway. Possibly later.
I was a bit under the weather yesterday, so after having my fill of reading, I settled down onto the couch with a cup of peppermint tea and a stack of porn. As a result, I'm rough drafting reviews of Fascination, Same Time Every Year, and Coming Together.
And, dare I say it...Frat House at long last?
I was a bit under the weather yesterday, so after having my fill of reading, I settled down onto the couch with a cup of peppermint tea and a stack of porn. As a result, I'm rough drafting reviews of Fascination, Same Time Every Year, and Coming Together.
And, dare I say it...Frat House at long last?
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