Saturday, February 12, 2011

Pornonomy Reviews: Hot Dallas Nights

Hot Dallas Nights (1981)

Directed by:
Tony Kendrick

Hillary Summers
Raven Turner
Tara Flynn
R.J. Reynolds
Sam Grady
Turk Lyon

This is a weird little piece of work. A parody of Dallas (a show which, to my recollection, I've never seen), Hot Dallas Nights sort of tells the story of the Brewing family, Texan manure magnates: Rock and Millie (presumably Alexander Kingsford and Greer Shapiro in mercifully non-sex roles), sons R.J. (R.J. Reynolds) and Robbie (Turk Lyon), their wives Mary Ellen and Pat (Tara Flynn and Raven Turner), granddaughter Lindy (Hillary Summers), though she doesn't seem to be either son's daughter, and ranch hand Duke (Sam Grady).

Two thirds of the film is the story of intrigue (R.J.'s plan to mortgage the ranch in order to buy a competitor's manure operation) and infidelity (the sons with each others' wives, the wives with each other and with Duke) in the glamorous world of Big Shit, highlighted by gloriously stilted performances of delightfully awful dialogue. The film really falls apart in the end, though. The final third, after the sons are kicked out of the family - R.J. for being a shady jerk, Robbie for being a dummy - and Duke is elevated to boss of the company for orchestrating a merger with the competing manure-ers, is just three consecutive sex scenes between Duke and Lindy, Duke, Mary Ellen, and Pat, and then Duke and Pat. By and large, the sex scenes are average, but they're definitely momentum killers.

After I found out that Kendrick's only other directing credit was Nurses of the 407, Hot Dallas Nights made a lot more sense. Since I gave Nurses a C-, and Hot Dallas Nights was moderately more amusing, doesn't get knocked for wasting its cast, and gets a few bonus points for a relatively funny call back in the closing shot, I'll give it a C.

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