Pornonomy Reviews: 69 Park Avenue

69 Park Avenue (1985)

Directed by:
Mike Handley

Starring:
Colleen Brennan
Cherri Roberts
Erica Boyer
Little Oral Annie
Patti Petite
Tiffany Duponte
Chris Chase
Dan T. Mann
Mike Horner
Rocky Balboa
Tom Byron


The only thing worse than a film that is a lazy clip compilation is one that isn't but should be.

69 Park Avenue has a flimsy narrative pretext (Tom Byron is a reporter on his first assignment, interviewing Colleen Brennan, a San Francisco madame) framing a series of unrelated sex scenes without any stylistic consistency. While everything about them seems like they were from different movies, they appear to be filmed for this one.

The only parts barely worth noting: the first sex scene (Duponte and Horner) offers proof that "pearl necklace" was in the vernacular since at least 1985; a few of the scenes are virtual "how not to do vocal overdub" clinics; one of the scenes is underscored by a song that has a proto X-Files theme; Brennan and Byron - actors that seem to be two of the biggest nerds in the history of porn - have a pretty fun charisma together.

69 Park Avenue is the sort of film that seriously jeopardizes my ambition to hit the 100 review mark. On the flip side, it's also the sort of film that makes me grateful that I've got a system that can play back faster than actual speed. (I can generally guage the quality of a film by the playback speed I employ: a great one is 1.00x, an awful one 1.50 to 2.00x; this one, was, for the most part, set at 1.40....) D