Stiff Competition (1984 - Caballero)
Paul G. Vatelli
Patty Plenty (as Patti Wright)
Stiff Competition is the second adult film I ever saw. Coupled with The Filthy Rich, it set a standard for adult films that may be unreasonably high. Nostalgia not withstanding, Stiff Competition may well be the best all around porn I've ever seen.
In a world where blow job competitions don't only exist, the world championship, the Superbowl of Suck Offs, is popular enough to fill an arena and be ordered on pay-per-view in bars and little old ladies' living rooms.
Essentially a Rocky story, Jeff (Kevin James) is a trainer who loses his tempermental "athlete" ("The Mouth" - Susan Hart) early on and then discovers Tammy (Gina Carrera), who's branded "The Tongue" during a brainstorming session that segues into a blow job training montage. Really, who doesn't love a montage?
Carrera's Rocky is countered by Cyndee Summers' Apollo Creed (or Clubber Lang, or Ivan Drago, I guess), Cynthia "Silk Throat", managed by John Leslie. Leslie is as good as playing a dastardly creep (see also: Suzie Superstar) as James is at playing a naive doofus (see also: Sweet Alice).
In addition to Team Tongue and Team Silk Throat, the rest of the competitors and characters are played masterfully: David Cannon and Bridgette Monet as a trainer and competitor, Linda Lonestar, from Beaver Creek, Texas (Cannon may deliver the line of the movie when he says "You know what, darlin'? I'm gonna stick my cock right inta yer butt."); Ron Jeremy as Don Head, a sleazy promoter; Herschel Savage and Patty Plenty as Wayne and Patty Cakes; and Paul Thomas as the ringside announcer. You know the cast is deep when an actor like Thomas is in a non-sex role (although he is also one of the guys in the training circle...), and the Championship stunt cocks include Tom Byron and Peter North....
With a fantastic, ridiculous plot, great script, story arc, performances, and bloopers during the credits (ala Cannonball Run), Stiff Competition is in rare air: A+
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